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    错误

        我在黑暗中奔跑。
        四周笼罩着深海般浓稠的黑雾,前路没有终点,后路也无尽头,天地间只是片无限放大的空间,寂静无声。我不知道我到底在哪里,也不知道该怎样走出这片迷雾。

        我感到恐惧。一直以来都认为自己是不畏惧孤独、不怕寂寞的孤僻女子,原来不是。当把我一个人放到这样一个黑暗、空旷、幽静的空间,我才深深切切地体会到孤单、寂寞、恐惧散发出来的无形的威慑力。所谓的享受寂寞、离群索居,也只是相对而言的。在二十一世纪,我可以数日不出门、不与朋友联系,却做不到一日不上网,尽管我觉得自己上网只是看小说和电影,顺便了解一下小道消息,并未与人有过多的接触,但事实上,我仍是在以这样的方式,了解这个世界,掌握这个社会的信息。如果当这一切都不存在了,当天地万物只剩我一个人的时候,当真正的孤独、真正的寂寞来临时,我一个人能生存多久?我真的不知道,但我相信我很快就会发疯的。

       

        人是群居动物,这话一点儿都不假。

       

        而我,一点儿也没有我自以为的那么特别。

     

        原来,是你的永远不会离你而去,背叛你;不是你的,你也强求不了,这是真的!

       

        原来自己又一次犯了同样的错误,再一次做了同样的自嘲,嘲笑自己的自以为是!

     

        原来淋漓尽致的痛过后,只有麻木而以......

     

        收拾心情,再次出发,这毕竟是自己的选择! 

    Comments (2)

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    Tong Chenwrote:
    如果这是你的真实感受,一点儿都不奇怪。最后一句话说明你认了,是对自己负责,是好事。能不能打造新的圈子,再造心的归属?同意群居的说法,给自己时间去找合适的群。
    Oct. 3
    Kooyi Yangwrote:
    亲爱的。你今天去PARA玩了?找机会咱俩聚聚~~~
    June 28

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